May 12, 2010

Glue: A Cautionary Tale

I don't know how it happened.  I imagined I could just dabble in paste--thought I would eat it just the One Time.  Next thing I knew, I was hooked. I started hanging with the wrong crowd; the kind of kids  who offered to share their bottles of Elmers.  I started sneaking glue sticks out of my mother's purse. It got to be that the water soluble substances weren't enough, and I graduated to the hard stuff: tiny containers of Crazy Glue and Duco Cement--I once lost a whole weekend to a tube of E6000 and a bag of pompoms. But I hit rock bottom the day I got an unregistered hot glue gun.   At first I was in denial.  I pretended that my finger tips didn't smell of charred flesh and acted like I could not see the signs that I had a serious problem...even when they were staring me right in the face and involved styrofoam and some corks. Not to mention random seashells.  
 
My obsessions with the gun grew and tiny strings of melted adhesive followed me wherever I went, like the gossamer wings of a craft fairy. Except not as pretty.  Some mornings I would wake up and not even remember what I had done the night before...or why all my shirts were missing their buttons.

I hit rock bottom.  My friends deserted me.  I didn't blame them. My bad habits destroyed my relationships.



I didn't know if I was insanely talented, or just insane.  I just know that this particular project, shown below,  hurt A Lot.  Next time, I would take the tights off first. I expect to be able to wear skirts again in 2014.  


So heed my advice young crafters.  Next time someone hands you a tube of Gorilla Glue: Just Say No, and stick to sewing.  You'll find yourself in fewer sticky situations.  Comment below if you are in favor of glue gun control and share your  addiction.  Together we can start a twelve step program for crafters.  Made out of felt.


 Lennymud






12 comments:

Paperelle said...

You're not hardcore until you mix up 2 part epoxy adhesives. It glues anything to anything (and may dissolve one substrate, but that's where the rush comes from). Metal to plastic, metal to skin, METAL TO METAL!

Just stay away from the soldering irons, that's like one foot in rehab right there.

Simone said...

oooh, but the cold heat soldering irons are sooo much fun. The pretty little solder drops that instantly freeze, so shiny

Virginia said...

ok, rock on. this post still has me cracking up. awesome awesome!

MaryAnne LoVerme said...

u r hilarious!

Lu said...

Glue dots, tacky glue, quick dry tacky glue, sobo, mod podge, e600, glue sticks - those 6" ones are useless - diamond glaze, oh god, I love them all.

Teri said...

Hilarious.

Holly said...

The hiss of spray adhesive, glistening strands of epoxy, bouncy balls of rubber cement, crazy times with Krazy Glue ... it's all fun and until you glue you eye closed

Loella Medina said...

Soooo funny!

Karen Seiger said...

This is hysterical! Great pictures! I love your work with buttons. And boyfriends.

persuede said...

very, very, funny. i love the button sculpture. glue is addictive. after balking at paying $150 to repair my sideview mirror, i just used jewelry epoxy to stick that sucker back on. i haven't looked back (hee hee) since.

DesignsByAliza said...

Finally someone gets me! I talk about glue and scissors like they are precious friends, and beware anyone who uses them inappropriately. Some of these glues, I have never used. Can people write in what glues they use, and for what?

kwr221 said...

hah! I knew this was you even before I got to the bottom and saw your name.

A true cautionary tale.

:-)